we are all experiencing trauma

mixed media, dry pigment/scratching/anvil on photographic prints of graphite on paper

2021, all works 30”x40”

I’ve been carrying this phrase around with me since early in the pandemic—probably month 3 or 4 of being locked down—like something left in my pocket and found, a comforting reminder that we share these emotions collectively. I’ve been using it as a mantra to help cope.

I began making new work in January of 2020 after a hiatus from art making following the death of my father in 2012. This new work came out of an emotional necessity and reaction to losing a close friend to cancer; another loss felt deeply in my bones, one that, despite his 5 year battle, I didn’t quite have the bandwidth to endure. My father died suddenly; Steve's was drawn out since his diagnosis. I had not properly prepared for either, even after they were gone.

That work became a series of photographs of graphite on paper. There was no way to fix the loose graphite other than to photograph and print them and the resulting prints remain a document of grief; an expression of pain passing through varying stages. The Covid-19 pandemic began just a few months later.

“we are all experiencing trauma” is the evolution of this work. I begin with 30”x40” archival prints of the “pncil drawings” series and work into them with dry pigment, razors and my favorite tool—an anvil left behind in my basement by the previous owners of my home. Altering the image this way is another attempt to degrade the original image and memory further; razor cuttings relieving the pressure of the pristine print. Using pigments, which can be toxic themselves, echo the anxiety of both the pandemic and the environmental threats we all face. The finished pieces become more sculptural as they are placed behind plexi for safety much like we have used PPE to protect ourselves. The anvil both represents the weight we all carry as a result of our past as well as lending a metallic shimmer to the pigments, shavings and paper —a connection to the future; creating one-of-a-kind mixed media pieces inducing the feelings of trauma we share collectively while connecting past loss with the present.